2/17/2009

The new cow story

The Corporate Interpretation

INFOSYSism: You have a thousand poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, and send them one at a time to the US for milking.

WIPROism: GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

DELLism: Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both and sell it as Cow's milk.

IBMism: You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to unsuspecting small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism: You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

SUNism: You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism: You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism: You don't have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

APPLEism: You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism: You have a cow. You spend 50 million dollars to develop the world's thinnest milk.

HPism: You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through Authorized Resellers only.

GEism: You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism: You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs.501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

CITIBANKism: Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press one. If you have a bull, press two. Stay on the line if you would like our customer care officer to milk it for you.

TATAism: You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

The Political Interpretation

Chandrababuism: You have two cows in Vijayawada . You hook them to Internet and milk them from Hyderabad.

YSism:You have two cows in Vijayawada, take them to Idupulapaya and give them to your son.

Jayalalithaism: You have two cows. You teach them to cry, "Ammaaaaaaa. .." and fall at your feet.

Karunanidhiism: You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew.

Gandhism: You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

Indiraism: You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

Lalooism: You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 crore worth of cattle feed for them.

Rajnikantism: You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

Sardarism: You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

2/11/2009

Poor Jokes, as they are called

Q: What's the difference between a fly & a mosquito?

A: Simple! A fly can fly, but a mosquito cannot mosquito!

Q: What did baby corn ask mom corn?

A: Where is Pop corn?

Q: Why is the River Rich?

A: It has two Banks!

Q: What do computers like to eat?

A: Chips!

Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to School?

A: She had a Bright Student.

Q: When does Gulshan Grover become Gulshan Grocer?

A: When he travels with the speed of light. Because, at that speed, 'V'elocity = 'C'onstant.

Q: Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis?

A: Because UTI bank is now Axis bank. Therefore, Shruti Shraxis

Q: A cow standing on the road keeps shouting 'F'.. 'F'.. Why???

A: Because F=ma (Newton’s Second Law)

Q: Three cockroaches are walking on the road. Suddenly one of them starts singing 'Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam...' And the other two die immediately. Why?

A: Because it was a HIT song.

Q: A scientist disconnected his doorbell. Can u guess why?

A: he wanted to win the No-bell prize!

Q: Who is the only Aussie cricketer who always smiles, even if he is declared out?

A: Hussey.

Q: What did the policeman say when he arrested Hussey?

A: Hussey to phasi!

Q. What would an Englishman say to his Indian servant who can only understand Hindi if he wants him to open the door?

A. “There Was a Cold Day "(say it fast)

Q: Who played a double role in the movie Sholay?

A: King George- He was there on both sides of the coin.