Marketing Fundaes

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's Very rich. Marry him."

That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." That's Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich."

That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

That's Customer Feedback!!!!!

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband

That's Demand and supply gap.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ----she is your wife!

That's competition eating into your market share…..

The basic laws of life that work out at every point of time

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

O'brien's Variation Law :If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

BELL'S THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water , the telephone rings.

RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are withsomeone you don't want to be seen with.

WILLOUGHBY'S LAW: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

BREDA'S RULE: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

OWEN'S LAW: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

HOWDEN'S LAW: You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

Cheits lament: If u help a friend in need he is sure to remember you, the next time he is in need.

Dennistons law: Virtue is its own punishment

Dennistons corollary:

1. If you do something right, some one will ask you to do it again.

2. Virtuous action shall never go unpunished.

Pinto's law: Do some one a favour and it becomes your job