WIFE 1.0

Dear Software Engineer,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This phenomenon was not included in the Product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Party 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favourite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drunk 2.0 & Bachelor Party 7.77.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but the UN-install does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error "General protection Fault in module House Security. The UN-installation will abort."

Can you help me? Please!!!

Regards,

Desperate Husband

REPLY

Dear User,

Ref: Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a Primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support" which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself; I might also suggest you read the entire section Regarding General Partnership Fault's (GPFs).

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5, which will improve the performance of Wife 1.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible Damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Software Design Engineer.